Matt Jenkins

With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. Hey, guess what you're accessories to. Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose.

It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you? But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.